I have been to many psychologists in my life, the first at the early age of five. Thus, I had already addressed many of the issues I had to revisit here at Montrose. I realized how I interpreted them and acknowledged how they had influenced my emotional reactions and my behaviour. However, Montrose is the only place that has forced me to actually change my destructive behaviour and challenge the faulty beliefs and misinterpretations. This has made all the difference.
I had to face the problem and soon discovered that the issues and struggles I faced were only the situations – I was the problem. So it has been a horrible, difficult and excruciating three months because change is painful and really tough to do, especially when your prior coping mechanisms are taken from you. But I can honestly say that these past months have been the biggest blessing.
Before Montrose, it did not matter how skinny I was, how far I ran, what I achieved….It was never good enough. I was never good enough. But I have a much better understanding of myself now and I know that there are so many valid reasons for why I am the way I am and that I am powerless over them. But I am aware of my faulty behaviour now and I can patiently work on it knowing that I am not the only person who has flaws. But I am the only person who expects me to be flawless. I am finally at peace with myself – the good as well as the bad.
18 years old